QUOTES >>>
below are some of the humorous quotes ive collected from friends and family. this set is based on love and lust.
[ L O V E ]
hehehe
Boy: I made out with my friend last night.
Me: That's awesome!
Boy: Thats what his girlfriend said.
*insert witty title here*
Me: haha yes, cause you are the master of love, isn't that right?
Billy: ah you've seen my buisness card
Higher Ratings = Better HP Movies
Brittany: Cedric is saying 'kiss me! kiss me now before i die'
Me: Thats not what im hearing
Brittany: What are you hearing?
Me: Im hearing something a little above PG13
PDAs
two teens grope in the school hallways
Hall Aid: Get away from each other!!! Make room for Jesus in your life!!!
god bless internet speak
Friend: do you find it creepy for a 36 year old to say this to and 18 year old? "i wud love us 2 meet ok? but even if we didnt meet i wud still chat to u as i genuinly like ya xx"
Me: um, yes i do lol he could be your dad, plus he shorthands like a 13 yr old
No Wonder He Cant Get Any Sleep
Adam: grrrrr my next-door neighbour has been banging against the wall a lot the past few weeks. i understand that a single bed may not be the best fit for her and her bf, but come on - at four in the morning....
Hot Teacher Humor
Brittany: You've never even had Ms. Johnson
Jake: Oh I've had her. Several times. Best extra credit of my life.
Awww
Me: I'm fugly.
Freddo: No, you're fhot.
Good Advice
Adam: and if that fails, threaten him with violence.... unless agressive women turn him on... in which case you shouldn't.
The Conservatives Were Right
Kristen: (re: sex education) now that i know all this i can lose it faster!
He Isnt Wrong
(during a Q&A about HIV/AIDS)
Girl: what kinds of fluids carry the HIV virus?
Speaker: [...] and spinal fluid, but if you are having sex that involves spinal fluid you have bigger issues than HIV.
Good Advice
kristen: dave, who would you go gay for?
dave: ... jack nichelson. i would let jack nichelson penetrate me. "hey i like your movies- OW!"
I Dont Think Thats What They Meant
me: you know how they say there are other fish in the sea?
adam: yeah
me: well i dont like to fish so id rather drop some chemicals in the water and wait for all the fish to float to the top then pick the one i want
Now Thats Powerful Cinema
Adam: We watched Another Gay Movie, which was actually very horrific. Like a nightmare. After, David announced that he was turning straight and I told him I had already done so during the movie.
When Dees Are Essed
Girl: You're gonna get pregnant now.
Boy: I know, but I took the morning after pill
so its all good. Although the pharmacist did give me a very odd look when i asked for it.....
It's Not For Everyone
Me: Can we go back to being asexual soulmates please?
Ilya: Sure thing. For our next asexual bonding experience, let's park on a hill overlooking the sunset, listen to barry manilow and not do anything.
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